1901. You bring your hound dog and shot gun on an Easter Egg hunt.

1902. Your property has been flooded so often, you keep FEMA on speed dial.

1903. Your property has been flooded so often, FEMA keeps you on speed dial.

1904. Your property was declared a federal disaster area and there was no 

storm.

1905. FEMA uses your yard for training on a regular basis.

1906. FEMA keeps your particulars on file at every office.

1907. You go to Waffle House and get new tires while eating breakfast there.*

      (Macon, GA the corner of Spring Street and Riverside Drive!)

1908. The President declares your county a disaster area after flying over 

your yard.

1909. Your kids know how to fill out disaster relief forms before they can 

spell their own names.

1910. Your cousin's FEMA trailer is the best house in the whole family.

1911. Your cousin has gotten uppity since moving into a FEMA trailer

1912. FEMA got the before and after pictures of your house confused.

1913. You can't tell where Hurricane Katrina's mess ends and your daughter 

Katrina's mess begins.

1914. You grandmother says the place hasn't been cleaner since Hurricane 

Camille.

1915. You have family members proud to have hurricanes named after them.

1916. You eat at Huddle House cuz the customers at the Waffle House are 

too uppity.

1917. You ever lived somewhere because that's where your mobile home broke down.

     (witnessed this one!)

1918. Your trailer has a tree growing thru it.  

     (witnessed near the broken down one)

1919. People take pictures of your yard for Jeff Foxworthy's Redneck Yard of the 

Month!

1920. You ever tore up the house lookin' for more of your redneck jokes.*

1921. Your sorority offers hats in more than one camouflage pattern.*

1922. You camouflage your bicycle based on the season.

1923. More than half your town closes on Opening Day.

1924. You have ever gotten Beano for a birthday present.

1925. Your school bus has a radar detector.

1926. You ever had to place a orange road cone in front of the bathroom door.

1927. Your pastor ever said Get'r'dun in his sermon.

1928. Your school bus doubles as a monster truck.

1929. You ever surfed behind a pick-up truck.

1930. A full moon reminds you of your mother-in-law pullin' weeds.

1931. All of your relatives would have to die to wipe out illiteracy.

1932. All your tupperware is old butter containers.

1933. All your wall decorations have horns on them.

1934. All your wedding guests were seated on the same side of the church. 

1935. Any of your children are the result of a conjugal visit.

1936. At the dog track, you always bet on the dog that "does his business" right before the race starts. 

1937. Coworkers start a petition over your coffee cup.

1938. Every room in your house is a junk room.

1939. Every workday ends with the same argument about who gets to ride in the cab of the truck.

1940. Everyone in the house learns something from the potty training videotape.

1941. For your anniversary you take your wife to dinner at the Wal-Mart snack bar.

1942. It's midnight and everyone on your street knows what album you're playing.

1943. It takes an entire dumpster to clean out your car.

1944. Most of your family have appeared on COPS.

1945. Neither your nor your husband's job requires you to wear a shirt to work.

1946. No matter which side of the track you live on, it's the wrong side.

1947. Nobody can rebuild an engine like mama.

1948. None of the tires on your car are the same size.

1949. One of your top concerns is going to the electric chair.

1950. The "Save Naugahyde" protection group chooses your house as a picket site.

1951. The beer truck delivers door-to-door in your neighborhood.

1952. The biggest sign on your place of business says "Minnows!" 

1953. The cleaners inform you that they can't get the sweat stains out.

1954. The cottage cheese container in your refrigerator holds nightcrawlers.

1955. The last thing you read was a pamphlet at the free clinic.

1956. The liquor store knows you by your first name.

1957. The man from the power company threatens to cut off your service, and you threaten to cut off something of his in return. 

1958. Your favorite cologne is horse manure.

1959. The morning after your kids' slumber party, the dogs have fleas. 

1960. The National Guard had to be called out to your last family reunion. 

1961. The oil stain on your driveway looks like the result of a tanker spill. 

1962. The only scales in your bathroom are leftovers from the fish cleaning. 

1963. The police regularly come to your house to break up a fight, and you live alone. 

1964. The quality of your birthday present depends on how mama finishes in the wet t-shirt contest. 

1965. The school principal has your number on speed dial. 

1966. The sound of a siren sends your family running for the woods. 

1967. The tires on your car don't fit under your fenders. 

1968. There are engine parts on your coffee table. 

1969. There are more than 4 hats in the rear window of your car. 

1970. There is a hot water bottle hanging from your shower curtain. 

1971. There is a puddle in your driveway year-round. 

1972. There is more oil in your baseball cap than in your car. 

1973. There is not room for one more bumper sticker on your car. 

1974. There is the equivalent of 3 large orders of fries scattered on the floorboard of your car. 

1975. Three weeks after the circus, you're still talking about the elephant's accident. 

1976. Trick-or-treaters are scared to come to your door. 

1977. Trimming your beard requires lawn equipment. 

1978. When paying for beer, spare pistol shells fall out of your pocket. 

1979. You're considered an expert on worm beds. 

1980. You've ever backed down an exit ramp. 

1981. You've ever been on television not wearing a shirt. *

1982. You've ever borrowed chewing tobacco from your wife. 

1983. You've ever freshened up with a Slim Jim. 

1984. You've ever had to turn your truck around because of bridge clearance restrictions. 

1985. You've ever hollered, "You kids quit playing on that sheet metal." 

1986. You've ever plucked a nose hair with a pair of pliers. 

1987. You've ever rolled your riding lawn mower. 

1988. You've ever stood outside a bathroom and heckled someone who was inside. 

1989. You've ever thrown a tailgate party at a tractor pull. 

1990. You've ever used panty hose as a coffee filter. 

1991. You've ever walked through a drive-thru window. 

1992. You've ever water-skied in your underwear. 

1993. You've never made up your bed. 

1994. You've seen Walking Tall more than 50 times. 

1995. You've talked to your mama on the C.B., but have never met her in person. 

1996. You've totaled every car you've owned. 

1997. You always answer the door with a baseball bat in your hand. 

1998. You always use tape to hem your pants. 

1999. Your favorite cologne is burnt gunpowder.

2000. You applied for a job while wearing a stocking cap.