You might be a redneck if. . .

1501. You own at least 20 baseball caps.

1502. Your Aunt Bertha used to be your Uncle Joe.

1503. It took the smartest kid in your 6th-grade class 3 times to pass his driving test.

1504. You spend 3 days in line for Reba tickets.

1505. The grocery store clerk wouldn't believe the Skoal was for your mom.

1506. Everyday at your house is a family reunion.

1507. You proposed marriage to you best gal by painting the "Big Question" on a overpass.

1508. You're not sure of the true color of your pickup.

1509. You have ever tried to use food stamps to mail a watermelon.

1510. You let your kid pee in the parking lot at K-Mart.

1511. You tried to claim "loss of teeth" as an exemption on your taxes.

1512. You prefer Monday Night wrestling to Seinfeld.

1513. You've ever had to move a car seat to make love.

1514. You ever stripped or jumped out of a cake at a relative's bachelor party.

1515. You use a bed sheet as a sofa cover.

1516. You think that your sister is not your sister anymore just because you get a divorce.

1517. You think wild turkey should be the national bird.

1518. You ever go clothes shopping in a goodwill box.

1519. Your home security system requires a baseball bat and slippers.

1520. There is a restraining order on your pets.

1521. You don't have a home phone.

1522. You think that a spatula is a bone you broke playing high school football.

1523. You refuse to slide in softball because you don't want to crush your cigarettes.

1524. The best art work you own is a cut out from a twelve pack of beer.

1525. You name the pick of the litter after your wife to show your affection.

1526. You've ever used your underwear for toilet paper.

1527. You think a goat is an indoor animal.

1528. Your best sofa came out of a Chevrolet.

1529. Your car insurance deductible is higher than the value of your car.

1530. You have more hair on your back than on your head.

1531. You leave the dumpster with more stuff than you came with.

1532. You know who is actually leading the Winston Cup series.

1534. You have an imprint of a tobacco can on the back pocket of your favorite blue jeans.

1535. Your favorite beer company cannot afford to advertise.

1536. You have more carpet on your toilet than on your floors.

1537. You have more electronic equipment in your truck than in your house.

1538. In preparation for your upcoming wedding, you register your Tupperware pattern.

1539. You've ever spent a Sunday afternoon shooting mice out of your kitchen cabinet.

1540. You've ever checked under the cushions for something to eat.

1541. You enter a fully functioning, deserted restroom and urinate in the sink.

1542. Your shirts are "3X-Large" but should be "5X-Large."

1543. You have a bulldozer in your front yard.

1544. You smoked during your wedding.

1545. Your checks feature pictures of WWF high lights.

1546. You might be a Redneck if your satellite dish is bigger than your house.

1547. You consider “Rambo” a classic.

1548. Your tires on your truck are bigger than your wife.

1549. You've ever driven a tractor to school.

1550. Your 23-channel CB radio is used to communicate with your family.

1551. Your sewage system consists of a pipe down a hillside.

1552. You've ever stolen a Neighborhood Watch sign to put in your yard.

1553. The highlight of the Fourth of July family gathering is when Uncle Jim Bob farts the Star Spangled Banner.

1554. You shave your cat to put hair on your head.

1555. You think straight D's is the honor roll.

1556. You have more than five magazines on the back of your toilet.  If they are magazines to rifles, you are a Redneck!

1557. There is a shrine to the Dukes of Hazard somewhere in your home.

1558. Your dad has ever been married so many times that U-haul gives him Christmas cards.

1559. You might be a Redneck if you had a necklace made from  beer tabs.

1560. Your grandma got in a fist fight over a handicap parking space.

1561. You think the Indy 500 is 500 Indians running down a hill.

1562. You apologize to your car repeatedly just to get it started.

1563. You pet someone else's dog and your wife thinks you're flirting.

1564. At home you have to wipe your feet to go outside.

1565. Your idea of a night on the town is ordering two Big Macs and a large fry.

1566. You wake up in the morning already dressed for work.

1567. You repaint your pink flamingo every spring.

1568. You think another name for a pay toilet is Johnny Cash.

1569. Your  cabinet doubles as a guest room.

1570. Anyone in your family has ever purchased peroxide in a gallon container.

1571. The furniture on your front lawn is in better condition then the furniture in your living room.

1572. You've ever been to a wedding reception at the Waffle House.

1573. Your "I Love...." tattoo has more than one name crossed out on it.

1574. You ever cooked something for dinner that your dog brought home.

1575. You met your first and present wife at the Dairy Queen.

1576. You have to use a step ladder to get into your truck.

1577. You might be a Redneck if when asked your hair color on a application, you state "Not Applicable".

1578. Your idea of a divorce settlement is splitting the bills equally.

1579. You've ever caught bugs just so you could throw them in the bug zapper.

1580. You had your wedding at Wal-Mart.

1581. You threw something away because you couldn't fix it with duct tape or bailing wire.

1582. You've ever thought about trying to install a clapper device on your car as a remote starter.

1583. You have NASCAR checks.

1584. Your church has a "happy hour."

1585. You memorize redneck jokes so you can be the life of the party.

1586. Any relatives have ridden a cow to school.

1587. You help booby trap your family's marijuana crop.

1588. You’ve ever used lard as a hair styling product.

1589. You wore your Carhart overalls and matching coat to your senior prom.

1590. You ask for all your teeth for Christmas.

1591. More than one of your friends shows up at your Halloween party wearing a lampshade asking "Know what I am?"

1592. Your girlfriend’s idea of safe sex is to lock the car door.

1593. The entire police force of your town knows you on a first name basis.

1594. You have a 'reserved' cell at the police station.

1595. The entire police force of your town fits into one squad car.
1596. Your local sheriff actually has to keep his deputy’s bullet from him.
1597. Your wedding toast was made with a quart of Old Milwaukee.

1598. You have a family portrait by a court room artist.

1599. Your voice changed while you were still in second grade.

1600. Turning on your lights involves pulling a string.