You're probably a redneck if ...

1.  A loved one was cleaned up for burial and no one recognized them at the funeral.

2.  You can't shop at the Salvation Army because you don't meet the dress code.

3.  You've ever been kicked out of a soup line because of your appearance.

4.  Your life goal is to see every episode of the “Dukes of Hazzard.”

5.  You've ever "squealed out" in a funeral procession.

6.  You've ever taken a beer to a job interview. (if you got the job, you are a redneck!)

7.  You've ever taken a cooler to church.

8.  You've ever relieved yourself from a moving vehicle… while driving.

9.  You've ever removed the seats from your car so all of your kids could fit in it.

10. When sending your wife down the road with a gas can, you ask her to bring back beer.

11. You think at a four-way stop, the vehicle with the largest tires has the right of way.

12. You brought a date to the wedding… and you were the groom.

13. You've ever given livestock as a wedding gift.

14. You have a Waffle House (or Huddle House) credit card.

15. You've ever gotten fired from a carnival job because of your appearance.

16.You honestly think that women are turned on by animal noises and seductive tongue gestures.

17. "Honey? Are the lights out? Is the door locked? Is the parking brake set?" is what you hear right before you and your wife/girl make love

18. You'd rather catch bass than get some (if you can't guess...)

19. You think that safe sex is a padded headboard on the waterbed.

20. The theme song at your high school prom was “Friends in Low Places.”

21. Your idea of talking during sex is "Ain't no cars coming, baby!"

22. Foreplay consists of slipping off her saddle.

23. Dolly Parton reminds you of the `Grand Tetons'. (of course this is a very sophisticated redneck joke... if you laughed... you must be a redneck, only they will get this one.)  Then again, if you find out what “Grand Tetons” translate as from French, you’ll realize the French fur trappers who named them were red!

24. You actually made a pyramid of cans in the pale moonlight. (Bonus if it was with Alan Jackson.)

25. You've ever parked a Camaro in a tree.

26. The blue book value of your truck goes up and down depending on how much gas it has in it.

27. On your job application under "SEX" you put "As often as possible".

28. Your parrot knows the opening song to “The Dukes of Hazzard.”.

29. You think the last words to the Star Spangled Banner are "Gentlemen, start your engines."

30. Your mom walks you to school and you’re in the same grade.

31. Shot somebody over a parking space a Wal-Mart.

32. You just bought an 8-track player to put in your car.

33. You've lost more than one tooth opening a beer bottle.

34. Your talent in the local beauty pageant was making noises with your armpit.

35. The neighbors have ever asked to borrow the light bulb.

36. You have to take the entire day off to get your teeth cleaned.

37. You offer to give somebody the shirt off your back and they refuse it.

38. Your belt buckle is bigger than your head.

39. You can take your bra off while driving.

40. You have more than 10 ceramic statues in your front yard.

41. You’ve ever been getting gas and another customer asks you to check his oil.

42. Your mother has ever been arrested for poaching.

43. You’ve ever been arrested for relieving yourself in an ice machine.

44. Your wife’s brass knuckles set off the airport security alarm.

45. Anything outside the Lower 48 is considered “overseas”.

46. You consider dating second cousins as “playing the field”.

47. Your welcome mat says, “You’d better have a search warrant”.

48. You’ve ever eaten out of a minnow bucket.

49. The only work your father ever did was supervised by a man holding a shotgun.

50. Your Christmas tree has a deer stand in it.

51. Your sister writes for “Soldier of Fortune” magazine.

52. You refer to your van as “The Love Machine”.

53. You have Mason jars filled with stuff the FBI can’t identify.

54. Your yard has ever been rejected as a proposed site for a landfill.

55. You’ve ever gotten a widow's phone number at the funeral home.

56. You’ve ever been the first person in and the last person out of a video arcade.

57. If your parrot can say “Open up, it’s the BATF!”

58. You wore a tube top to your wedding.

59. You think cow tipping should be an Olympic sport.

60. Your prize hog doubles as your dishwasher.

61. You use old John Deere tires as flowerbeds.

62. The Roto-Rooter man comes in your house and asks “What’s that smell?”

63. Your hip waders double as dress pants.

64. Your dog can dip snuff.

65. The last photos of your mama were taken from the front and the side.

66. The trunk of your car is tied down and you’re not hauling anything.

67. Your flashlight holds more than four batteries.

68. Your flashlight is your weapon of choice in a fight.

69. There is a puddle in your driveway year-round.

70. You hang pickled eggs and pop-tops from your Christmas tree.

71. Today’s dinner was just a little slow crossing the highway yesterday.

72.Your truck can pass over a 55-gallon drum without touching it.

73. You refer to 5^th grade as ”my senior year.”

74. Your mother gives you tips on how to sneak liquor into sporting events.

75. Your idea of going formal is a black truck.