You might be a NASCAR fan if...
- you think that the four last words of the National Anthem are "Gentlemen, start your engines."
- during a funeral procession you weave back and forth to get your tires in shape for the restart.
- you think about Brooke Gordon during sex.
- you think about Jeff Gordon has the two best rides in NASCAR.
- you call skid marks in your underwear a "Darlington Stripe."
- you refer to your wide as "winning the pole" after sex.
- you cant remember your husband's birthday, but can remember the last 10 Winston Cup Points Champions.
- you have ever had the number "3" tattooed anywhere on your body.
- you are reported missing and the police are advised to check all race tracks first.
- in your will you leave your money and possessions to NASCAR stating that you are to be buried in the infield.
- your first and middle name is Richard Petty.
- you compile our shopping list based on sponsorships.
- you enter the gas station at 70 mph, then attempt to complete at 14 second "pit-stop"
- your favorite turns are left turns.
- you've ever had to explain to an officer, whose giving you a sobriety test, that your weaving from lane to lane was just an attempt to get more fuel into your car.
- you think Richard Petty should be president.
- when you are the first car stopped at a stop light, you consider yourself "on the pole"
- your mechanic has to remind your constantly that he's not your crew chief.
- you've ever told a cop,"but officer I wasn't tailgating, I was drafting."
- you've ever spun out a car trying to pass it on the interstate, and explained to the officer that "Rubbing is Racing"
- your son took the race tire you have from Darrell Waltrips car, to school for show and tell.
- you take your wife out driving with you, cause you need a spotter.